there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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