obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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