I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
