Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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