Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
its liver damage thursday
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
