You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
