I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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