But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
