Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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