If i come over, it means nothing
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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