Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
