I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
