dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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