The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
