i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she told me i tasted like america
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
