all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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