quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
