What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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