Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
kristin has been a bad kristin
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
