so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
