I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
