I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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