Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
