fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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