lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
