U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
