He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
