coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
