what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
