Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
