i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
