Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
