i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
