im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
