She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You can't special order awesome
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
