I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I see more hoeing in ur future
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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