We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
