We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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