I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How's work?
Spinning.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
