Someone shit on the floor
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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