dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize