you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
