Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
