My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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