you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
