Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
