Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
