can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
