i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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