just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
is wine microwaveable?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
